Sadly, that illusion was shattered a month or so ago when I saw a picture of Andrew on a slide show of digital pictures we were watching on a DVD. At first, I didn't recognize him and I actually thought he was my nephew, Jonathan. And, because I'm the adult in the family, it only took about 10 seconds before I had all the kids standing in the living room and laughing hysterically as we poked fun at our fat and chubby nephew and cousin.
But then my wife--always ready and willing to extinguish my fun and rain on my parades--pointed out that the child in the picture was Andrew--our little, cute Andrew.
Well, Andrew immediately stopped laughing and then started crying uncontrollably. He covered his face and kept yelling "Don't look at me! Don't look at me!" The other kids laughed harder and my wife just stared at me, shaking her head in disgust.
For a long time, I stood there in a state of shock. I felt terrible. I replayed the scene in my head and I realized that once again I had been a terrible example to my kids. And I also realized that Andrew wasn't always the little dream hunk we had thought he was. Nope. Without the "Blinders of Love" on, I saw him as he really was: pudgy, pasty and a little disconcerting to look at--at least in some of those pictures.
Now one important lesson I learned from this is that all people are beautiful--even ugly babies--and we should never laugh at them out loud. The other lesson I learned is that when things (or babies) are ours, we have a blind spot for them. We see them in a different light than we otherwise would.
Well, if you're still reading this and haven't clicked away in disgust, let me attempt to tie this to the topic of selling a home. You see, the first thing you need to do is find a way to look at your home in the same way I looked at Andrew that night. When I thought he was someone else's kid, I suddenly saw him in a different light than I did when I knew he was mine. I was a little more critical. I saw a little more clearly. Now, while I'll be the first to admit that doing this with people is bad and shouldn't be emulated, I'll also stress that it's a helpful tactic when you want to sell your house. You need to distance yourself from the home. You need to do whatever it takes for you to try to see that house as a prospective buyer would.
So if your house in on the market, or if you're thinking about listing it . . . go take a drive. Drive past all kinds of houses. Take an hour or two or whatever and bring somebody along who can write things down in the car without getting car sick and have that person write down everything you both notice about the houses. What do you hate? What aspects of the house jump out at you as attractive qualities? What are the things that immediately make you less interested in the house if it were for sale? And then, once you've compiled this physical or mental list, return home and park out in front of your home. And do the same thing with that same critical eye.
Make every effort to forget that the house is your house. View it as just another of the houses you drove past. Ask the same questions of yourself: what jumps out at you as attractive? What jumps out at you as something that detracts from the appeal of the home?
Write these things down. Now, I know that some of them are not going to be something you can change. But on the other hand, a lot of them are going to be minor repairs that can be accomplished in very little time and for very little money.
When you see your home as your house, you're much more forgiving. You don't mind the fence that needs work or the door that's faded--or, maybe they've been that way for so long you don't even notice them anymore. But when you see your home through the eyes of a prospective buyer . . . well, suddenly all of these little problem areas come to your attention. So do whatever it takes to distance yourself from your home emotionally. Try to view it through the eyes of the prospective buyers and discover the flaws and areas of concern they might see.
And also, remember not to make fun of ugly babies. At least not out loud.
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